Rolling Lumpia, Building Roots: A Therapist's Reflection on Filipino American History Month

The kitchen smells like home: garlic sizzling in oil, the earthy sweetness of ground pork mixed with vegetables, and that distinct aroma of lumpia wrappers waiting to be filled. My child sits on a step stool in front of me, small hands eager but uncertain, watching as I demonstrate the fold for what feels like the hundredth time.

"Like this, anak," I say, guiding their fingers to tuck the wrapper just so. "Not too tight, or it'll burst. Not too loose, or it'll fall apart."

It's a lesson in balance. In patience. In something much bigger than either of us realizes in this moment.

More Than Just Food

As a therapist, I spend my days helping people understand the invisible threads that connect their past to their present. I talk about attachment, identity formation, intergenerational patterns, and the deep human need for belonging. But it wasn't until I became a parent that I truly understood how culture is one of the most powerful therapeutic tools we possess.

When we make lumpia together during Filipino American History Month, and honestly, any time throughout the year, we're not just preparing food. We're engaging in what I call "cultural anchoring." We're creating a lived experience of heritage that goes beyond history lessons or museum visits. My child is learning what it means to be Filipino not through a textbook, but through sensation, repetition, and connection.

The way the wrapper feels between their fingers. The pride in their eyes when they complete their first successful roll. The stories I share about their lola and aunties who made these same movements in kitchens thousands of miles away.

This is how identity forms. This is how belonging takes root.

The Therapeutic Power of Cultural Connection

In my practice, I see the effects of cultural disconnection regularly. Children and adults who feel unmoored, who struggle to answer the question "Where do I come from?" or "Who am I?" This isn't just an existential crisis; it's a genuine loss that affects mental health, self-esteem, and resilience.

Research indicates that children with strong cultural identity demonstrate:

• Higher self-esteem and confidence

• Better academic performance

• Stronger family relationships

• Greater resilience in the face of discrimination or adversity

• Lower rates of anxiety and depression

But here's what the research doesn't always capture: the how.

How do we actually build this cultural identity in our children, especially when we're living far from our homeland, when English is the dominant language, when our kids are growing up in a different world than we did?

The answer is simpler than we think. It's in the lumpia.

The Moments That Matter

"Mom, why do we make these?" my child asks, holding up a slightly misshapen roll with obvious pride.

I pause, considering my answer carefully. Because this question deserves more than "because we're Filipino" or "because it's tradition."

"We make these because every time we do, we're remembering," I say. "We're remembering your lola's hands teaching mine. We’re remembering your Auntie Mariesol and the special way she used to cut her carrots and green beans. We're remembering the parties and celebrations, the way the family would gather. We're remembering where we came from, so we never forget where we're going."

My child nods, already reaching for another wrapper. "Can I tell my friends at school about this? Can we make more so I can share with my friends?"

And there it is, that beautiful moment when cultural pride becomes personal identity, when heritage stops being something abstract and becomes something worth sharing.

Practical Ways to Keep Heritage Alive

As both a therapist and a parent navigating this journey, I've learned that cultural connection doesn't have to be elaborate or perfect. Here are some approaches that work:

Make it tactile and sensory. Cooking, crafts, music, and dance engage multiple senses and create stronger memories than passive learning. The smell of adobo, the sound of Tagalog spoken at home, the feel of traditional fabrics; all these sensory experiences become anchors.

Tell the stories behind the traditions. Don't just do things because "that's how it's done." Share why. Talk about the people who came before. Make your ancestors real, not abstract.

Let it be messy and imperfect. My child's lumpia are lumpy. Some are too full, others too loose. And that's exactly right. We're not aiming for perfection; we're aiming for connection and experience.

Create regular rituals, not just special occasions. Yes, celebrate Filipino American History Month, but also make cultural practices part of your everyday life: even small things like a Tagalog word at dinner, a Filipino lullaby at bedtime. Build continuity.

Invite questions and curiosity. Celebrate that curiosity as your child asks, "Why do we do this?" or "What does this mean?" These questions are opportunities for deeper connection.

Connect with the community. Seek out Filipino American communities, cultural centers, or even online groups. Let your child see that they're part of something larger than just your family.

The Weight We Carry, The Gift We Give

I won't pretend this is always easy. As a therapist, I'm acutely aware of the pressure many of us feel, especially those of us in the diaspora, to be perfect cultural ambassadors. To teach our children a language, we may have lost ourselves in the process. To maintain traditions, we only half remember. To somehow give them an "authentic" experience of a homeland that may feel distant even to us.

But here's what I remind myself, and what I remind my clients: cultural transmission doesn't have to be perfect to be powerful.

My Tagalog is broken. My lumpia recipe is adapted. Some traditions I've forgotten, others I've modified. And still, in this kitchen, on this afternoon, my child is learning what it means to be Filipino American. They're learning that they come from somewhere. That they belong to a story bigger than themselves.

They're learning that heritage isn't just about the past, it's about who we choose to become.

This Filipino American History Month

As we move through what’s left of October, I encourage you to find your own "lumpia moment." It doesn't have to be cooking. Maybe it's teaching your child a folk dance, or sharing stories about your hometown, or attending a cultural event together. Perhaps it's simply speaking more Tagalog at home, or playing Filipino music during dinner.

Whatever it is, know that you're doing important work. You're building roots in your child that will sustain them through their entire life. You're giving them the gift of belonging, of identity, of knowing where they come from.

And in a world that often feels fragmented and disconnected, that might be one of the most therapeutic things we can offer.

Honoring Heritage, Healing Together

Whether you’re an individual reconnecting with your roots, a couple navigating cultures, or a parent passing traditions forward, therapy can help you turn story into strength. Book your free 15-minute consultation and let’s begin.

References

Meta-Analyses & Reviews

Bentley, S. V., Greenaway, K. H., Haslam, S. A., Cruwys, T., Steffens, N. K., Haslam, C., & Cull, B. (2020). Social identity mapping online. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 123(4), 843-866.

Javier, J. R., Huffman, L. C., Mendoza, F. S., & Barker, J. C. (2014). Preventing Filipino mental health disparities: Perspectives from adolescents, caregivers, providers, and advocates. Asian American Journal of Psychology, 5(1), 59–67. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0033938

Smith, T. B., & Silva, L. (2011). Ethnic identity and personal well-being of people of color: A meta-analysis. Journal of Counseling Psychology, 58(1), 42-60.

Self-Esteem & Academic Performance

Kading, M. L., Hautala, D., Palombi, L., Aronson, B., Smith, R., & Walls, M. (2015). Flourishing: American Indian positive mental health. Society and Mental Health, 5(3), 203-217.

Kiang, L., Zamboanga, B. L., Garcia, V., & Cole, B. P. (2009). Phenotypic bias and ethnic identity in Filipino Americans. Cultural Diversity & Ethnic Minority Psychology, 15(4), 345-355. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0017096

Rivas-Drake, D., Seaton, E. K., Markstrom, C., Quintana, S., Syed, M., Lee, R. M., ... & Yip, T. (2014). Ethnic and racial identity in adolescence: Implications for psychosocial, academic, and health outcomes. Child Development, 85(1), 40-57.

Umana-Taylor, A. J., et al. (2014). Ethnic identity and self-esteem across adolescence: A meta-analytic review. Child Development, 85(6), 2087–2101. https://doi.org/10.1111/cdev.12289

Resilience Against Discrimination

Mossakowski, K. N. (2003). Does ethnic identity protect mental health? Social Psychology Quarterly, 66(3), 187-199. https://doi.org/10.2307/1519842

Park, M., et al. (2024). Longitudinal impact of family, religious, and school supports on adolescent mental health. Journal of Adolescent Health.

Reyes, A. T., Serafica, R., Cross, C. L., Constantino, R. E., & Arenas, R. A. (2018). Resilience, acculturative stress, and family norms against disclosure of mental health problems among foreign-born Filipino American women. Asian/Pacific Island Nursing Journal, 3(1), 18-26.

Romero, A. J., Edwards, L. M., Fryberg, S. A., & Orduña, M. (2014). Resilience to discrimination stress across ethnic identity stages of development. Journal of Applied Social Psychology, 44(1), 1-11.

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Mental Health

Guerrero, K. (2023). Filipino Americans’ attitudes and experiences with mental health and help-seeking behaviors (Doctoral dissertation, Walden University). https://scholarworks.waldenu.edu/dissertations/12966

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Yoon, E., Cabirou, K., Galvin, M., Hill, A., & Parris, T. (2020). Meta-analysis of acculturation and mental health: Moderating role of study design. The Counseling Psychologist, 48(8), 1109-1141.

Filipino-Specific Resources

David, E. J. R., & Okazaki, S. (2006). Colonial mentality, ethnic identity, and Filipino American psychology. Cultural Diversity and Ethnic Minority Psychology, 12(1), 1-16. https://doi.org/10.1037/1099-9809.12.1.1

Macam, S. R., Javier, J. R., & Palinkas, L. A. (2022). Adapting an evidence-based parenting program for Filipino American families: A pilot protocol. JMIR Research Protocols, 11(2), e21867. https://doi.org/10.2196/21867

Nadal, K. L. (2011). Filipino American Psychology: A Handbook of Theory, Research, and Clinical Practice. Hoboken, NJ: John Wiley & Sons

Torres, A. (2024). Intergenerational and cultural parent-child protective factors against depressive symptoms in Filipino-American adolescents. Berkeley Undergraduate Journal, 38. Retrieved from https://escholarship.org/uc/item/5b7074nh